Sweet Jesus

Every now and again I hear this song in church: "Sweet Jesus. Sweet Jesus! He's the lily of the valley and a chocolate bar..."

Well, that's not the exact wording, but appropriate enough for Cosimo Cavallaro’s butt-naked chocolate Jesus. As Natalie Gheit wrote in Esquire,

An oddball artist known for his "eclectic" forms of expression, Cavallaro's latest contribution to culture is a six-foot tall, anatomically-correct milk-chocolate sculpture of Jesus Christ. His confectionary Christ is made with more than 200 pounds of chocolate, containing approximately 480,000 calories.

"O, taste and see that the Lord is good!"

iAMrj * richard jones

No song for my love?

I'm a pretty decent piano player, and I can hold a tune in a bucket. Yet, I've only song to a girlfriend once, when as an adolescent boy I wrote a love song for one of my first loves. To this day, I'm still not sure what made her cry: The music or me.

Oh yeah! There was also that time -- not too long ago, to be honest! -- when one hapless romantic was as tenacious as the "little engine that could." So, one day I gave in and treated her to a few bars of "I Love You."

She was moved to tears, but catch was the tune was a church song:

I love you
I love you
I love you, Lord, today
Because you cared for me
In such a special way...

I ended my Grammy performance there, after substituting her name for "Lord," of course. She never had a clue!

Not only have I not song love songs to most of my lovers, but I also have never learned an entire love song. I enjoy listening to old school slow jams, so I can recall a chorus or a few choice lyrics here and there. But it has never been my thing to memorize all the lyrics of a love ballad and sing it to my woman.

One reason for this is I'm a musician who's not into music. I thoroughly enjoy listening to nearly all genres of music, from classical music and classic soul to traditional jazz and the latest pop music. Still, I've never been one to keep the music playing.

Speaking of which, that reminds of something my daughters told me on Father's Day. After basking in their presence, I asked them how I'm doing as a father. At first, they assured me that I'm damn-near the perfect dad. But I was like, "Oh, bull!"

So, they added that there might be a thing or two I can work on. Would you believe that one of those things, which they seemed to think was my absolute worst shortcoming, was that I don't play music in the car when they're riding with me! "Yeah, Dad, you've really got to work on that," said the oldest.

I'm told that "music hath charms to soothe the savage breast, / To soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak." As some of my country relatives would say, that there's some power! Given the toll that the labor of love can take, it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to use music and my musical gifts to perhaps make things easy like Sunday morning.

On second thought, ain't the devil the busiest on Sunday morning!

iAMrj * richard jones

When I see Jesus, I see Isaac Hayes

There are about as many "images of Jesus" as there are human cultures. As scores of respected scholars have dutifully noted, people tend to make Jesus in their own image; not the other way around. For the most part, who Jesus is really is a question of who you want Jesus to be.

I thought about this yesterday, when a friend from Canada asked me to show her depictions of a Black Jesus. Of course, I did what Jesus would do and immediately looked unto Google, from whence cometh vast amounts of online help. I googled the phrase "Black Jesus" and was just about to send the image search results to my friend when it dawned on me: "I know who looks like my Black Jesus! Isaac Hayes!"

Led by my postmodern spirit, I redefined my search to find pictures, portraits, paintings, and other images of Isaac Hayes. In so doing, I found my Black historical Jesus, just as I envision his physical appearance. Hayes himself isn't the "second coming" of Jesus any more than Blair Underwood, Kanye West, or any other "likeness." Yet, for me, "the Black Moses of Soul" is the way I must see Jesus if I'm to see him at all.

iAMrj * richard jones

RELATED LINKS

• The Likeness of Jesus
• Perhaps Jesus was Black
• Real Face of Jesus
• Good Times - "Black Jesus" Part 1
• Good Times - "Black Jesus" Part 2
• Good Times - "Black Jesus" Part 3
  

All the clothes a man needs?

While doing some extra cleaning this past weekend, I tossed about 10 old pillows from my bedroom closet. But, apparently, that wasn't enough.

According to a lifestyle article on MSN, my closets are probably full of "ill-fitting, dated duds and stacks of shoes no longer fit to wear."

Guilty as charged! I've got more crap in my closets than a flea market, making finding something to wear more of a massive challenge than merely a matter of choice.

"The sad thing is, most men need only 10 items to look well dressed," states the MSN article. "Where the male wardrobe is concerned, quality always trumps quantity."

Hey! What's "quality" got to do with any of this! I thought, if it fits, you've got to acquit!

Anyway, needing "only 10" -- count 'em, TEN! -- "items to look well dressed" sounds good to me. So, I kept reading.

"Begin by investing in a few well-fitting basics. [F]or example, one great-fitting pair of jeans."

CHECK! Right now I'm wearing a 'nice' pair of blue jeans from some SUPER store like...well, you get the picture. (What are "denims," by the way?)

"You really only need one great pair of casual shoes, so don't be a cheapskate."

That sounds scary, so I didn't read any further.

Boldly, however, I did click the hyperlink that read "In Pictures: 10 Key Pieces Crucial To Any Guy's Closet."

$8,000 Kilgour suit!

$500 Hermes belt!

$198 Levis 501!

$119 Ray Ban sunglasses!

$485 Gucci Moccasin casual shoes!

$1,335 for an Etro overcoat!

And on and on it went!

'Lawd, hab mercury!' I thought. 'My bedroom closets are just fine!'

Besides, the clothes don't make the man. Right?

iAMrj * richard jones (www.iamrj.com) is the best dressed freelance writer in America. Right?

Can't focus on someone not properly focused on family

A woman's lack of sincere interest in my children is definitely something that can make me disinterested in her.

I cannot count the number of "nice" women, including a lot of "nice" women with children, who seem to want to pursue an intimate relationship as though their partners' children are not a factor or, even worse, as though their partners' children don't exist, at all.

In my case, this certainly isn't because I'm one of those lying and conniving baby-daddies who attempts to conceal his children until he has conquered some woman. I'm an extremely proud father who tells everyone, including women, about my three daughters.

Moreover, whenever I'm talking to a bachelorette who's a mother, I also consistently ask about her child or children, learn their names and ages, include them in activities when appropriate and possible, and treat them very kindly.

Nevertheless, such a focus on the family often isn't reciprocated.

Common courtesy is in such short supply these days that I'm not surprised by such negligent behavior. I'm also told that it's to be expected because most single women have grown accustomed to dealing with men who avoid mentioning or discussing their children for as long as they can.

Whatever the reasons are for such rudeness, it's a turn-off like no other. If a woman doesn’t acknowledge my children the way she should, she will never hold my attention.

Of course, many of those same women feel the same way about men properly acknowledging their children, which makes their own insensitivity all the more inexcusable.

What do you think?

iAMrj * richard jones

Great communication tips for difficult times

It is critical that you and your partner maintain your composure and thereby calmly discuss whatever might be the problem in your relationship. However, this does not mean you must be impassive. Express your emotions without succumbing to emotionalism, wherein you become so entangled in your own feelings that you are overly sensitive, too easily offended, unreasonable, and unrestrained. Of course, you will exhibit that kind of self-control if you embody the good you expect from your significant other, and do this regardless of how you perceive their words and behavior. In other words, take the initiative not to initiate or perpetuate the kinds of confrontations that only make matters worse. When you are passionate, be principled, too.

Instead of flying off the handle and assuming anything, respectfully articulate your feelings and concerns. Try not to gripe about "everything" or "things in general," but talk about the specifics of a specific problem. Listen carefully, but also seek understanding by tactfully paraphrasing and asking questions about what your partner is saying. Speak with a positive purpose and with a pleasant and disarming tone. Be slow to speak and even more patient when listening. Keep an open mind, and be humble enough to make a genuine effort to recognize the value of your partner's perspective, especially when you have a different point of view. The longer you talk, the less likely you will be heard. So do not go on and on. Be concise but not curt, and always end the conversation in a non-dismissive manner that keeps the lines of communication open.

iAMrj * richard jones