Must-see "Knock, Knock" monologue by Daniel Beaty

Tell me again

Our exchange of pleasantries and tender hugs makes it such a joy for me to wake up with you at my side. It does my body good when you ask how I feel and then listen to my answer as if I am unfolding the mysteries of life. Our morning conversation helps me overcome lingering fatigue, and to know that you love me simply makes my day.

Many challenges present themselves to me throughout each day. In the course of creating wealth and building a legacy, I must persuade some people, politic among others, persevere through arduous processes of problem solving, maintain an exacting level of productivity, and manage all this without losing my peace of mind.

That is why it is so right when you contact me at all the “wrong” times: You are always there to crash my would-be-pity parties and provide me with the inspiration I need to never give up on a good thing.

You are a friend and not just a lover. You are a confidante and not just a companion. You are water that is thicker than blood, and my thirst for you cannot be quenched. You pour yourself into me and all over me, satiating me with soul-soothing outpourings of your phenomenal presence.

I can hardly wait to be with you, although I am genuinely happy to share you with family, friends, and all the other extremely fortunate people in whose lives you are also a positive presence. I am ecstatic to extend you to them because it is not you to neglect me.

I am free to be me with you, for you are not only liberated to love, but also love me in ways that are refreshingly liberating. You love me for who I am and for all I could ever be. In helping to bring out the best in me, you are also helping to bring out the rest of me. Yet, it is not who or what you think I should be that you wish for me to become, but all that I desire, my full potential, and then some.

However, in your loving embrace I am sometimes shaken too, because as a true friend you cannot condone everything that I do. Still, I can depend on you to be there for me, if only to watch me grow through my mistakes, suffering and naivety.

We have our differences, but you never demean. When our relationship is rocky, you refuse to be mean. Instead, you stay positive, looking for mutually satisfying resolutions and every ray of hope. Indeed, it is astonishing how you never give up on me, on us, on all the things through which we successfully cope. Your love for me is steadfast, sagacious and strong -- a powerful expression of the principle ‘work through your problems without doing each other wrong.’

Such are reasons I am so drawn into you that I never want to withdraw. Your amazing strength of character and extraordinary consistency make you the most desirable of lovers. How big a person you are is manifest even in the little things you do. I trust you with my person, my possessions, and my progeny, too.

I am certainly not ashamed to tell the world of my irrepressible desire for intimacy with you. I need you in my life because it is so good for me to love and be loved by you.

iAMrj * richard jones

This joy I have

Problems tend not to be as problematic as the ways in which humans attempt to solve them. Indeed, the greatest and most overlooked problem often is the person with problems -- the way he thinks about and responds to what he perceives to be problematic people, places, things, or situations in his life.

Consequently, the "something new" we often feel we need is really new ways of thinking that can engender better ways of living, relating to others, and coping with challenges. It is possible, as saints of ol' would say, to have "joy in the midst of sorrow." However, the key to this kind of contentment is to renew one's own mind; for our lives are no more than what we make of ourselves, regardless of what others may or may not be doing and where we might live, work, or play.

None of this means we should always maintain the status quo. We are never wrong for removing ourselves from undesirable or unhealthy situations. Still, we should not beguile ourselves into believing that all we need to be happy is the "right" people, places, and things in our lives. True happiness comes from within; so, as long as our happiness is contingent solely on people and things outside ourselves, we will move through life on emotional roller coasters. In order to make our joy constant and complete, we must reclaim personal responsibility for it and full possession of it.

As an adolescent boy singing with the "mass choir" at a Black Baptist church, I used to bellow the lyrics "this joy I have, the world didn't give to me, and the world can't take it away!" Those lyrics stuck with me like brown on Pinto Beans. As I have matured, I have come to understand them to mean that I must choose for myself a sure and stable source of soul-satisfaction. All around me and about me is but swift transitions. I cannot derive diuturnal delight from that or those which emit ephemeral pleasures. If I am to have abiding joy that neither life, death, struggle, nor the sinister can steal, then it must spring from a fount that never runs dry. I choose, therefore, to rejoice in the Lord, because of the Lord, for the Lord, and even after the Lord. The joy of the Lord is my strength to keep smiling and savoring life despite my surroundings and even myself.

I have also discovered that it is easier to keep joy in my heart when I keep regret out my life. It is of paramount importance that I respond to people and situations in ways that make for peace and which bring me peace. The "good" feeling that comes from being a bad ass lasts about as long as it takes for me to be alone with my ass. There, in stridulous solitude, I cannot escape the scathing rebuke of my conscience: "You sunk rather than rose to the occasion and thereby heaped the searing coals of self-reproach on your head." Thus, I strive to always act and react in ways that will make me genuinely proud of myself rather than permit myopia, mean-spiritedness, and foolish pride to keep me mired in shame and self-loathing. It is essential that I stay true to myself and find rest in giving the best of myself.

There are lessons to be learned and strength to be gained from every sad and strenuous situation. Even death itself can yield memories and relationships to be cherished as well as matchless motivation to master the art of living life to the fullest. Sometimes even while "drinking tears for water," I must have the presence of mind to wrest from the throes of my woes whatever I can that makes life still worth living. Such is the path to finding joy in sorrow -- a stubborn determination to delight myself in the Lord, life, and love despite how dark and dreary some days may be.

Someone declared that there is one happiness in life, and that is to love and be loved. For me, this means that I stand far less a chance of losing my joy if I am a positive presence in the lives of others and allow others to be a positive presence in my life. In other words, the love that helps fulfill me and fill my life with joy unspeakable is not lust, but that attitude or affection that leads to actions which augment affected lives. It is living for the good of others and not just myself. It is liberating myself, not only to love and be loved, but to love in ways that are liberating. It is deriving joy from delivering joy and being a joy even to those who seem to bring me no joy.

The one who laughs last might not appreciate that the joke is on him. Yet, one way in which I can suffocate joy is by having such a serious and somber disposition that it is difficult or downright impossible for me to see the humor, not just in life, but in my own life as well. To laugh at everything betrays one's lunacy. A "good laugh," however, is good for my relationships and me. I have decided, therefore, to have loads of fun as I journey through life. I am not attempting to amuse (literally, "not-think") myself to death, but this joy I have requires that I get plenty of comedic relief.

This joy I have is not a groping giddiness that comes from puerile positive thinking or denial of difficulty, distress, and disappointment. It is a deep delectation that is determined first and foremost by my thinking, attitude, and decisions. It also depends on me allowing God to be greater in me than anyone or anything that is in my world. Finally, it depends on me not clinging to it like a child would a new toy, but spreading it to others in every way I can regardless of what they say or do. It is joy that comes not just in the morning, but that comes even in the midst of my mourning.

iAMrj * richard jones