Great communication tips for difficult times

It is critical that you and your partner maintain your composure and thereby calmly discuss whatever might be the problem in your relationship. However, this does not mean you must be impassive. Express your emotions without succumbing to emotionalism, wherein you become so entangled in your own feelings that you are overly sensitive, too easily offended, unreasonable, and unrestrained. Of course, you will exhibit that kind of self-control if you embody the good you expect from your significant other, and do this regardless of how you perceive their words and behavior. In other words, take the initiative not to initiate or perpetuate the kinds of confrontations that only make matters worse. When you are passionate, be principled, too.

Instead of flying off the handle and assuming anything, respectfully articulate your feelings and concerns. Try not to gripe about "everything" or "things in general," but talk about the specifics of a specific problem. Listen carefully, but also seek understanding by tactfully paraphrasing and asking questions about what your partner is saying. Speak with a positive purpose and with a pleasant and disarming tone. Be slow to speak and even more patient when listening. Keep an open mind, and be humble enough to make a genuine effort to recognize the value of your partner's perspective, especially when you have a different point of view. The longer you talk, the less likely you will be heard. So do not go on and on. Be concise but not curt, and always end the conversation in a non-dismissive manner that keeps the lines of communication open.

iAMrj * richard jones