Parenting and positive possibilities

I'm a new daddy! Not because there's a newborn in my life, but because over the past few years I've renewed my relationships with my three daughters. They're ages 18, 13, and 11, and the foremost reason I'm so blessed to be me. As I wrote in a confessional piece titled "Daddy, Do Better," loving and being loved by them has made a powerful and positive difference in my life. Such is a joy of parenting that I'm delighted to share with you.

I also want to encourage all other parents, especially men, to reclaim and revitalize their relationships with their children. No matter what age you and your child are, and no matter what your relationship with your child or children is like, there's always room from improvement and the need to deepen intimacy. As parents, we also need close and appropriate relationships with our children to truly feel good about ourselves and avoid being inundated with regret.

That does not mean that our relationships with our children will be problem-free. There will be challenging moments and times because "to error is human." Of course, parents are human too, so it's certainly not always our children's fault that they and our relationships with them sometimes falter. Regardless of the reason for each predicament, it's critically important that we respond with humility, empathy, openness, honesty, forgiveness, and a helping hand rather than with just sternness, defensiveness, judgmentalism, and rebuke. Just as we must not always condone, we must not always condemn. We must be wise, even-handed, and circumspect in guiding our children and growing with them.

For parents who are estranged from their child or children, as I once was, there's undying hope for renewal until death do you part. And the fount of this hope isn't denial of the needless pain either the child or parent has suffered, but that indomitable desire for a wholesome parent-child relationship that seems to indwell every parent and child. It may seem impossible to even fathom the healing of gaping familial wounds, but as long as there's the breath of life in you and your child, there's a real and fighting chance that you can breathe new life into your relationship.

If, for whatever reason, you're a parent or child interested in such matters, please share your thoughts, suggestions, inspiring stories, questions, and concerns. I'd love to know that you were here and what you think.

iAMrj * richard jones