Good men treated badly

A good man who's a single man is a suspect. Far too many women are suspicious of his "goodness" because they believe that, if he is really a good man, he should (and would!) be taken.

Often, the assumption here is that there's an overabundance of good women from which a good man can choose. A good man may be hard to find, but not his lady. Thus, women interrogate him incessantly - "So, tell me, why is a 'good' man like you still single?" - as though it's a criminal offense for him not to be committed to someone.

Catch is, women also want good men to be single. They complain that "all the good men" are taken, gay, family members, fictional characters, or just too far away. "Where are all the 'good' men?" they wonder, because they cannot love without them. They desire the good men whose very existence they often deny. Many women seek what their cynicism often won't allow them to see.

Even if the statistics showing that single women far outnumber single men are accurate, this does not mean that all or the majority of those women are good women. Like finding a good man, finding a good woman can be like searching for lost contact lenses in a haystack. So, good men also have a good reason for being single: It usually takes making some or a lot of wrong choices to finally get with Ms. Right.

A good man might also be single because he simply prefers this lifestyle. There may be somebody for everybody, but sometimes people just want to be alone. Therefore, a good man isn't necessarily someone who wants to date or marry. He may want friendship and little or nothing more. And, of course, this is okay, especially if he's "man" enough to be honest about his life and intentions.

What I'm getting at is this: It doesn’t make sense for any woman to want a good man to be single and then hold it against him for being just that. It's also his prerogative to take his time with relationships or take timeouts from relationships. Besides, what makes a man good isn't his having or not having a certain lovestyle, but his having a lifestyle distinguished by integrity, respect, compassion, and consistency.

iAMrj * richard jones